1. |
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* all those words they lied they cursed/I'd better mean it all now/after all I've done & all that's gone/I'd better mean it all now .
* all that summer I offered to you - I offered it you in vain/& for every summers dark day I rue, my promise stands empty - for shame .
* when yr sorrow cried/when you were denied/nobody knew like you/when that summer died/when we were denied/nobody knew like you/I'd better mean it all now .
* they came to nothing, my promises were words never made in good faith/but, for all of the bluffing I ever did/I am left with as sour an aftertaste/I'd better mean it all now .
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2. |
Since I Can't Have You
04:08
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* you never were an angel - I never knew you all, I never knew the all of you - I was never sure - I was hung on your fixed smile that I could never read - hung on you, all the while you were cutting into me - I swore I'd never fight you, thats not the way I am - but, since I can't have you I have to change my plan . I want to make you wonder why you never took the chance - why you had to spite me & curse upon my hand - I wan to make you long for everything you passed - for everything you trampled - & every single thing that you smashed .
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3. |
You So Secret
04:24
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* its a wild night & its quiet while you hold the reins & hide it - do you need that? /tho you know you long to say it but you will not sill & say it & defeat that - for its something that has frightened you/buried you/uptightened you, left you weakened . & with every word I utter you don't answer with another - you can't speak it .
* I'm alone now - & yr so secret .
*tho you yell me all about - you say nothing to betray you, you so secret - & I know you would unburden & unlock your every word - you just can't speak it - there is something in your dark yes that I showing something waiting, just to free it - & with everything I gave & with all I have to save you I can't believe this ...
* I'm alone now - & yr so secret .
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4. |
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* my oh my, its a long long way from those early days of such sweet sweet taste - how is it we've come astray? ... for we wanted much that we thought was ours - ours by right, ours alone to clutch - were we so wrong to stake that claim? - this is what I say to love : oh do you rule in this world? - this world's not your world - this is what I say to love : how can you rule in this world? - this world's not your world - this world would throw you away ...
* I swore by you - I was sure I was right - & that all we knew was worth the fight : what was I fighting against? - its this silent doubt that eats my words & blots you out & kills my nerve ... & I am fighting you again .
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5. |
Dark's Chorus
04:47
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* slow now - hear the breaking tearing song that wakes & shakes the day we were making - hear it fall to waste - for you are all the answers - you are all the blame - showing in shallow glances that cut in deep as we can name .
* &, after all has been taken, will we rise up then? - will the bonds be broken? - shall you curse again?
* & all we ever wish for is something better than regret - all our fight is just to get something better, better than regret .
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6. |
Love Smashed On A Rock
04:12
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* you make me laugh with your "love" - your empty head is breaking up - floundering to anywhere - steering devilry care - aimless navigation - pulled into some whirlpool - wrecked on every word you said - did you mean them anyway? - I have to ask - love smashed on a rock .
* the ship is stranded - stranded left abandoned - yr inside - & you love the debris with all yr life . stagnant in some dead spray - wrapped in tattered sails - punctured into pieces - fingers in the compass - drowned for every word you said - did you mean it anyway? - I have to ask - love smashed on a rock .
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7. |
We Won't Begin To Belong
03:41
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* I can see tho you've come so far - you surely will run foul of yr aim - & I can see you will fall so hard - oh so far away - I can see it will come to this - you bring yourself to yr worse fear - I can see it will turn amiss - on some sorry day - & we won't begin to belong if we cannot trust/ ... not while you feel so frightened, not while you fear this love -we won't begin to belong until the day you change yr way.
* you seem so sure that you stand to lose - living all yr life like some game - with odds that are stacked up up to fall on you as yr hopes start to raise - so you watch yourself, check yourself where you can stay safe - but you keep yourself lonely this way - and your hurt yourself worse by being afraid that all love's a charade - & we won't begin to belong if we cannot trust/not while you feel so frightened, not while you fear this love/we won't begin to belong until the day you change yr way.
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8. |
Azure Flag
03:47
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* oh how I have waited - oh it felt forever so - waiting breath abated, waiting for the time that was never known - how I looked to tomorrow - watching out just for to go - waiting for when I'd follow waiting for the time I could never have known .
* will you share this hour - now that it has come to pass - will you share this hour - you are the reason why .
* who would guess that quiet cutting day would pass away - with you coming bringing everything you do - I could never have known - for I was watching wildly - looking for some other thing - something not so mildly subtle & so gentle - I could never have know .
* will you share this hour - you are the reason why .
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9. |
She's On A Pedestal
03:23
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* shut the door to gently as you go - for I don't where I stand - don't be amused by any phrase I chose & try to use to understand you - teach me please the way I should be to slow down - teach me a way to simply gauge to know you now - now that you are moving away .
* close the door to quietly as you leave - for suddenly, I'm listening hard - a dusty answer swimming around me, that's come to name things ill starred - ill starred - a frozen heart - too far - & high flown - never known - to slow you down - now you are moving away .
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10. |
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* I was born of love - & I trust it every time - & I've never known how to leave its world behind - so I wa sir fool - for you knew me to be blind - you knew that I would fall to yr design - you knew how easily you'd hypnotise .
* yr the spell that must break - yr the spell I can't shake - & you spell my mistake - I was bewitched by yr ardour - yr the spell I can't break - yr the spell .
*there are many prayers that I'd whisper like a truth - but I do not dare - for I'd longed to be with you - I let myself be snared - as a willing victim who knew - I knew so very well you'd mesmerise me n leave me there - for yr the spell .
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11. |
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* like a ghost that hides from sight I feel that I always am with you - & like yr ghost I'm fading so - I know yr name - I know yr face.
*yr like the air that softens sleeps - soothing reason, & it would calm me - but I am where the daylight's hidden - I know yr name - & I know yr face - & nows the time they'll fade.
*you were right - yes, you were right - ive never known where love can lead - you'll find me where I should be - hid, down amongst the lonely.
* like a ghost, too slight & cold to feel I could ever believe you - yet somehow I do - I believe in you - Ive known yr name - & I known yr face - & now's the time they'll fade.
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12. |
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. you were the sea . i was the sea .
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13. |
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CAME HEAR TO LOOK YOU IN THE EYE . to see . to learn . to find out . to see only what I thought I'd find . to see what I wanted to see .
* i came here to realise why yr torn from my sight, thrown to the arms of where yr looking like you’ll never cry out loud - acting like you never needed one little word . i am hurt, but i’m not going to falter . you’re safe and sound on yr own … but when you retreat and disown what has become a problem, you also forsake the good & simple love that will grow . i came here to look you in the eye, & i implore you to take it and try to breath new life into what has shattered . for i feel like we’ve run too wide - and i want you to pierce my eyes, to tell me that i never died in the only eyes that ever mattered .
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14. |
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THE BEGINNING OF THE SLOW, SLOW STARS . when words fail . when they just won't work .
* like high heaven shot with stars you beamed some bright light for me - now it appears as if you've been dying all along - no/no/no - that treasure radiant - that power, a night full with riches rare - now it appears it was fools gold, hollow all along - no/no/no.
* & I slowly begin without you - & you'll begin yr slow farewell - no .
* those wild imaginings - a flower of beckoning emptiness there - ties with the lie of harsh beguiler of cares - no/no/no - now I've a dying place somewhere - a pit of yr memory - cried out of all that I can't believe was ever there - no/no/no.
* & I'll slowly begin without you - & you'll begin yr slow farewell - no .
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16. |
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17. |
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* she will forget this loneliness /she will forget these ashes/iwill regret the fire we lit/that all the salt sea now washes.
* & I don't know how it will be/it maybe that I can only lose/for how can the light break thru to me/how can it - for I am the blues.
* I was the sea/beautiful to you/like some life saving ship for some tempest/that calmed for you when beautiful to me/you held the waves back/like some goddess.
*& I don't know how it will be/if I could only drown me in you/but how can the tide calm for me/how can it - for I am the blues.
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18. |
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19. |
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* you are a bleak smile - worn to show the world that yr all the while winning as you run - full to over brimming with a precious wine in an empty vessel, choked with dying vines - I listen to yr fevered talk & I only hear the way yr caught - you say nothing you praise her - & yr words are empty then - all you say only betrays her - but you betray yourself the best.
* & yr telling me of bitter disappointments - how yr let down by her, let down flat once more - you can't see how it can be that yr responsible - 'cause yr abusing hindsight to defend yr words - & I, I can't believe what I'm hearing - & I, I can't believe I catch yr meaning - you say nothing you praise her - & yr words are empty then - all you say is to betray her - but you betray yourself the best.
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Martyn Bates UK
(For CD version write to Jerry at eyeless@eyelessingaza.com)
voice +acoustic w/songs/ e-guitars/kybd/ tape. Since 1980,
Eyeless in Gaza, & since 2000, Twelve Thousand Days, Mick Harris etc. Knew stuff / Forgot stuff / cared too much / cared too little - perhaps. 2023:current band = Kodax Strophes … with Martyn reportedly "still longing for 'Christmas in my soul". kodaxstrophes.bandcamp.com
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