1. |
At Last
03:58
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I leaned my back on an open door/ I found myself drawn in there/
I knew where I was in an instant then/ I found myself drawn in there/
I knew the bitterness living there/each poisoning word/
I knew that voice as I listened then/ and still I misheard
I put my hands to that door again/
I turned and I left there/
I heard the words run my mind again/
I turned and left there
I knew the sweetness of enemies/ their wakening words
I see them all as they are to me /
I still their words
and all they have to say .
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2. |
Again Awhile
04:58
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I was a restless feeling I was a cry
I was a heart deceiving but I couldn’t stay there long
I was a taste like poison I was a lie
oh I was till you showed me something new.
I was a time unseasoned/ I was unfound
I was a lack of reason/but I couldn’t stay there long
I was a word left sighing/flickering out
oh I was 'till you showed me something new .
oh n its true ... again for awhile I need to I need to breathe out
I need to lie quiet -
Its true - again for awhile I need to breathe in all the air I knew .
I was a day so sleeping I was a sigh
I was a nightmare dreaming but I couldn’t stay there long
I was a broken morning I was a cry
oh I was till you showed me the way through .
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3. |
Shimmering
06:07
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you lead the dark/on that dancing day
you wanted the dark/ y let it lead you away
you’re the one I name
you, thru the calling rain,
just you alone, on that day.
n up into the skies of fires spiralling
n up above the trees, unbinding so I can see
you, yr old feet of clay
ascending then/ how you danced that day
I felt that you knew me/ in sun, in rain
w/ all fear arising/
running the day / n leaving me
n I saw the day/ playing me
leaving me lost in the dance y made f me
no earthbound chains fettered y then,
no blinding shackles surrounded yr hand
yr leaving the dance we made
raised up / n made free again
from all that we prayed for / imprisoned, enslaved …
all love surrounding /n all my heart to tremble then
in shimmered frosts, in rains dazzling
you and I were lost/ the dance vanishing .
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4. |
Unowned Light
03:16
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yr eyes are barren/ seeing no grace at all/
you are so transparent/ even as you murder it all/
y shrinking n vanishing/ yr own light’s diminishing
withering n swallowed then/ you won’t believe it – n you'll never see it
(that) yr own light is now perishing
vanishing in you/damaging (in) you
n yr the dark now/ a braking fool/
crushing you/ banishing you
y stand in yr own light / like a ruin .
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5. |
I Said To Love
05:52
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for so long – oh so long, it seemed a lifetime’s tune
yet we were wrong – oh so wrong
the heady sound of music
swept us along/in its song
n we held that tune in thrall –
and I remember every night/ hiding in a darkenin night of sighing
n I remember / the warm /the sheltered night
we didn’t sight the signs th heavens were hiding/
n I said to love,
I fear for us, I fear this nighttime song -
n it played on/oh so charmed,
so beautiful, n moving
(yes) it flowed on/a /swansong …
n we held the tune in thrall
n I said to love/this heady song
is like a heart that’s breaking .
I remember every night/hiding in a darkening night of sighing
yes I remember, the warm/the sheltering night
we closed our eyes
so not to catch the sights within/
or sight the lightening/
all the lightning following
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6. |
Hallucination
04:08
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now yr hand has turned away
n you are turning too far away
and all yr life is spurning me
and ah, how I wanted to see …
so, I broke my tears in those longing days
& I put aside what that story said
open-faced, not hallucinating,
to be alive/ here today .
and you, mirror-like,
y pierce thru me
y gaze (is) steadfast/responding to me
n I can’t hear yr cry/ for the world is raging
and I am numbed/ and will not see.
you, who now are soul surprised
y look on, so sad in sighs
for you know my body alive,
all in music cutting lithe,
deep n cleft to a single light
n what you are silence sighe
pitching dusk upon all you do -
in a music that you never knew.
and where you go pervades the soul
the stifled crying kills the breeze
n I can’t see the /seeming love you’d treasure/yr a broken prize, a shattered belief.
n now y gaze
y pierce thru me
y gaze steadfast/responding to me
n I can’t hear yr cry/ for all yr world yr raging
and I am numbed/ and will not see .
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7. |
I Am Bound
04:29
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n I am bound unto you/ I broke into yr story bright
n I am bound to you/ you led me to here n I fell
so I leave the dead wisdom /the confused, bewildered mind …
where everything’s taken /shaken, made new once again
yr sorrow will sell you/ ransom n hire yr life away
yr sorrow will hide you/ n bury you/n dash you down/
n drown you in betrayal .
n I’m bound in the flight out of the danger/yr drownin eyes take me
so don’t say I’ll never ever know that cost -
n I’m bound in the wake of sad estrangement
that yr rapid-fire chang wi’ll bring
n i recognise it now / n how I feel for yr loss .
I broke into yr story/ emptied of dead words
m life’s cut aside, to remain / n oh it’s now that I wait /
yet, no looking-backcry /this moment of life a-fire
n yes I must wait awhile/ wait here at this journey’s end.
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8. |
Softspokenlies
03:10
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slyly stole and won away/ away from all I’ve known
I was blithely charmed to say/ this is how I’ve grown/
this is how I’m not alone/ my heart will be your home/
how wrong could I be?
y make me want to turn around / and deny my own life/
y make me want to tear it down/ n damn it in my eyes/
y make me curse to tears / the day that I was wronged/
so bitter now and robbed these years/ by what I felt was strong
how wrong could I be?
soft spoken lies/ make the fear in my life/
soft spoken lies/ that I hear from the one on whom I rely
slyly stole and won away/
I was blithely charmed to say/
this is how I’m not alone/
how wrong could I be?
makes me want to turn around / and deny my own life/
makes me want to tear it down/ n damn it in my eyes/
makes me curse to tears / the day that I was wrong/
so bitter now and wronged these years/ by what I felt was strong
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9. |
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yr soul is aflame in the saddening night
the dust of yr day is away n gone
yr children new born suffer yr cruel blight
n you know how I need
yr a soldier so drear left in tears that bind
yr broken of season to a death’s-hand drum
as spring dresses winter all out of time
n you know how I need
and spring dresses winter, all out of time
yr broken of season /a death’s-hand drums
for a lost soul drenched in tears that blind him
and now you know how I need
yes yr cruel spite defeats me
n summer, autumn’s robbed out from me
y say y want to change
you’ll never change
rigid/fixed/unbending/out of time.
spring dresses winter , all out of time
broken of season - a death’s hand drum
to lost souls so drear drenched in tears that blind
n now you know how I need
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10. |
All The Lowlands
03:20
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there’s only one thing/that I long to say
ringing in my heart/n I hear it always/
n its all I want -I need this failsafe/
this kiss to heart /to give and to take.
never
lowlands, lowlands
dancin round me playing
call me
out from/the lowlands/
to the rhythms of the day.
and I call t you now - imploring you t stay/
t be quiet to m heart/let no lines run astray /
from out my sights/that open, bright place/
this fragile sense of soaring/a simple love sayin
never
lowlands, lowlands
dancin’ round me playing
call me
out from/the lowlands/
to the rhythms of the day.
never
lowlands, lowlands
dancin’ round me playing
call me out of/the lowlands/to the rhythms of the day
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11. |
Ruined Flowers
04:47
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y leave – yr gone / n i dwell alone
in starblind radiance/ in forsaken ashes/
a still betrayal/ a promise wasted/
f’ the fear of a loss/
f’ fear we’re mistaken
n you won’t name/this fear you’ve taken t you/
no words t claim ya/ n what you take, to our cost/
all ruined flowers/ n weeping sadness
n it feels real/ so real for me/
reduced to nothingness & madness -
torn down in dust
garlands struck by frost/
bouquets torn across/
ruined flowers lost/grown for me –
(n) this rose pearl / was the heart of this world/
the centring core/ the essence I held to me
i took my meaning/ n I loved it then / its sanctuary hiding/ for the strength that we were living.
ruined flowers/ weeping sadness
so real to me/reduced to nothingness & madness -
torn down in dust/
garlands struck by frost/bouquets torn across/
ruined flowers lost/lost to me –
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12. |
Riches, Crying Moon
03:03
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everything yr seeing/ everything yr doing
you want it all for yrs
everything yr preying/ everything’s there to get
to snare it in in yr claws
y run rife/run wild
so fierce n defiling
you could never be satisfied
for all yr riches would bring
they never would mean a lot
just another dammed thing that you can add to what you’ve got
everything yr seeing / everything yr doing/
you want it all for yrs
you want everything you see devoured
and I want to know exactly why
yr appetite’s so rampant
that even a mansion couldn’t satisfy
everything yr saying/ everything yr playing(?)
you want it under wraps
everything’s a target/everything’s there to get
to waste/ to spoil/(n) destroy
you want everything you see t turn sour
I want to know exactly why
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13. |
Fight
03:38
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this day it waits / like I’m /always paying
n the wind/ like a wound/ like a weeping song plays/playin
and I’m staying true/ like a patient fool
in a dead yesterday/ with a closed fist pounding over
(yes I hear those) melodies/ they answer me/ n I never stray from you
they shoot back and forth/ n they answer me I never stray from you
the body is the book/ and I will wait the while
the body is the book
in a quiet place/ I wait awhile/
a quiet place – it felt so right
a quiet place/ where I could wait and awake/
once quiet – now all is shattered there/
and I feel / it’s all a fight.
inside, a roaring storm/ breaks you away /breaks yr heart/
and the pearl/ that you carried/for me/ has all but vanished
and I wake /to yr wide words/ that mistake/
the whole realm/ (in) these vanishing footfalls/stepping in rhythms of pale retreat(ing)
I’m bought and sold
like I never been born
n I’m cancelled/gone
helpless & for I just can only look(gaze) (up)on (it all) (witness the song)
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14. |
I Look Back
03:54
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we’re looking back n it just isn’t right/ how can we hope/
if our hope is in memory/ for all that we lack/
we own more than those times /
those days were only cries.
we’re looking back n it just isn’t right/ how can we hope/ if our hope is in memory/ for all that we lack/ we own more than those times /
those days were only cries.
now we face our fear/ now we claim what’s here
no turning back/ ah, to all that we lack/
oh for all that we lack we must never turn back
no turning back to the days of the past
for all that we lack/we must never / turn back.
were looking back n it just isn’t right/ how can we hope/
if our hope is in memory/
for all that we lack/ we own more than those times /
those days that were only cries
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15. |
There/Here
03:45
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ah could there be much more / somehow waiting
waiting at yr call / yes, forever waiting
there is always something wanting
something blocked
n always a reason to stall
could there be much more / tho tomorrow is straying
it’s waiting at yr call / yes forever waiting
you are always wanting something else -
n you wait in desire,
yet you seem to hide from it all
could there be so much more/could there be more
there be so much more/ while you linger /n you wait/ n you pause .
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Martyn Bates UK
(For CD version write to Jerry at eyeless@eyelessingaza.com)
voice +acoustic w/songs/ e-guitars/kybd/ tape. Since 1980,
Eyeless in Gaza, & since 2000, Twelve Thousand Days, Mick Harris etc. Knew stuff / Forgot stuff / cared too much / cared too little - perhaps. 2023:current band = Kodax Strophes … with Martyn reportedly "still longing for 'Christmas in my soul". kodaxstrophes.bandcamp.com
... more
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